Billy's Plaque
My parents bought us a plaque which I glued to a rock where Billy died. The plaque reads:
If tears could build a stairway, |
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If that was possible, with all the tears that I alone have shed, Heaven would be an empty place. I shed enough tears for everyone to come home....
The love I have for Billy is so strong and deep and everlasting that words cannot do my feelings justice. I could not let go of Billy when he died. I had to find a way to reach him. There has to be more going on in this world then we know? Thanks to my wife who stuck by me with all that I went through with deep depression and with my obsession with trying to reach Billy. God Love her. She talked to a friend who lost a daughter, who told my wife about Vicki Monroe. My wife then asked me if I would like to see Vicki Monroe, like a friend of ours actually. We think of him as a family member who would often say "Let's hit the road, let's go"! I told my wife "Let's go"! Six weeks later we got to visit with Vicki Monroe and we made contact with Billy.
You have seen the photos which have been put on this site, four of them are from the scene where Billy died. I mentioned this before, for me it was a place to grieve for Billy and to be close to him. While talking to Billy through Vicki Monroe, he told us that there was no need to go to the scene of the accident to grieve or be close to him because he told us he is always with us. The place where he died has no meaning to him at all since he's no longer there. While he was on earth, his body was an instrument he used and that we all use here to serve whatever purpose we are here to accomplish. Billy told us when he died, his body became a shell, it was no longer Billy, for the real Billy is spirit.
Billy's purpose here on earth was done, his goals accomplished, it was his time to go home (Heaven). He said there was nothing anyone could have done to change the events of that night, it was his time. I think he told us that because that was on my mind all the time. What if I could have done this or done that, I could have changed what had happened to him? Like he said, there was nothing we or I could have done to change what happened. To be honest, even when I heard him tell us this, it was still hard to let go of the physical part of Billy. His loss was so painful and difficult to deal with. It took a while to let go of the physical part of Billy, but I did. What I can tell you is this, it takes time to heal from the loss of a loved one, one day at a time. Everyone heals in a different way and at a different length of time. You have to take it one day at a time.
Even with what I've learned, it still takes time to heal from the physical part of losing Billy. For me the loss was extremely devastating. Because of the way I was feeling, on two separate occasions I had someone ask me what if it was the other way around? What if Billy was grieving for you the way you were grieving for him, how would that make you feel?
GREAT QUESTION! The first time someone mentioned that question, it just didn't sink in. But about 5 months later when I was asked the same question, it finally got through. I answered by saying I would be very sad and I would do everything I could to get him to move ahead with his life. I would not want him grieving for me but to be happy for me because I am in a better place. For I am home, where someday he will join me. While he is on earth, I would want him to move ahead with his life, be happy, help others and live life to the fullest. Don't grieve for me because I'm always with you and will always be by your side. By answering that question, it helped me let go of the physical part of Billy and to move ahead. I know I would have wanted him to move ahead if I had been the one who died. I know he wants me to do the same for him, of which I am. For me, thinking about it that way made a difference.
That was what I needed to get my life back. We also have Billy, all be it in spirit. It was a great honor to have shared my life with YOU, and I know that someday we will be together again.
Thank you Billy!
Love Always, Dad
